My True Identity

Who am I? I really feel that I am I different person here in Africa than I am in the US? I’ve thought a lot about that over the past few days and nights.

Who am I? Am I the person who lives in my beautiful home? Or the person who has at least three cars to drive out of my garage after I push a button and the door goes up. Am I the person who has a several closets full of clothes?

What defines my identity? Is it my house, the cars I drive, the clothes I wear, the computers, TVs, DVD players in our home. Do any of these things define who I am? No, they don’t, so then why are they so important to me and cause me to spend so much time maintaining them. Why do I feel so different while I’m in Africa?

Is it because, I have so little here? I wear the same 5 skirts, week in and week out. No one cares if they are in style, or have gone out of style years ago. If you walked into my closet at home, you would be hard pressed to know that I am gone for ten weeks. My rods and shelves are full of clothes, more than I can even wear. I’m sure you’d even find some with the tags still on them.

What about my home? Does my home give me my identity? What does it say about who I am? Will I invite someone in if it is messy, or will I think I’ll do that next time the opportunity arises? Is it a place to impress people or a place to be home for my fantastic family? If I’m going to be truthful I’d have to say I want it to be both. It is a place where my kids call home and feel comfortable coming and hanging out together. When I think of friends, I want it to be a home that impresses them, that makes me look good. And whom am I trying to impress, anyway? Does my home give me my identity?

The same applies to cars. I am more than happy with my Toyota and Buick. To me a car is a car. Then why when I pull into a parking lot and park next to a Lexus or a Hummer, do I think twice about what I drive?

I don’t want anything more or different. I’m very content and grateful for everything I have. Sometimes I am so humbled by the home and yard that I have to enjoy, but then there are those times when thoughts and doubts, about it being nice enough take over. There are times when I think, oh but so and so, they have this or that. It is those times when pride raises its ugly head and I fall victim to it and listen to those lies.

In Africa, no one cares about what others wear. No one ever compliments you on your clothes. I’ve seen the same red, gray and black striped shirt on Marjory, every year we’ve come, on multiple days. I’ve seen skirts that team members have left behind, being worn with pride and joy, a little too big or to small it doesn’t matter. It is a new skirt to them. No one has a car. Most of their homes don’t have electricity. Some of them live in houses with no roofs, just plastic spread over sticks keeping out the rain and wind. It can be very windy here! When it rains they stay up all night pushing the water off the plastic so it doesn’t break. Remember the rainy season goes from November to April. Do they complain, oh no! They just praise and thank God for the little that they have.

What does this tell me? What is my true identity? Could someone look at me at home and say “She is a child of the King!” Or would they say, she lives here, she drives these cars. Or she works there and goes here. Oh, and she always wants more!

I pray that is not true, but I can surely see it in my life, when I come to Africa. I give thanks to God for so many things at home that we don’t even consider each day. Zambia is a place where you just depend on God for everything. You give thanks that the water stays on till 8:00pm, so we can bathe. I get so excited when the electricity stays on for days at a time! I praise Him that I get to have peanut butter sandwiches for lunch and rejoice over them. I am so thankful I can do my laundry in the tub, and hang it out to dry, and that I don’t have to iron the bugs out of it. I give thanks for the evenings when the electric stays on until we’ve cooked our dinner. I give thanks for God allowing me to draw close to Him, and fellowship with Him in ways that I don’t take time for at home. I give thanks that I have no fear of being here, because I know He is always with me!

My prayer for myself is that my identity changes, and when I return I will be showing everyone I meet that I know who I am! I am a daughter of the King of Kings, and Lord or Lords! Blessed beyond measure with the absolute best husband in the world, great kids who love the Lord, and almost 14 of the most amazing grand kids, anyone could ever imagine! I have no needs. I have more than enough of everything anyone could possibly want. God has blessed me with more than I ever dreamed of having.

Romans 12:2 The Message

So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

Romans 8:16 & 17

16The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. 17Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.