Attitude Adjustment

Usually when I’m in Zambia, I feel so close to the Lord. I am so dependent on Him for everything every day! Maybe it is because of the extended period of time, that I am struggling with the same feelings I have at home. The feelings that tell me I am entitled to certain things, and that I need certain things to ensure my happiness and well being.

Some of my feelings may stem from having had it really well here. The first two weeks the team was here, we didn’t have one power outage. We had the water go off each night at 8:00, but we knew that going in and we compensated for that. The week after the team left, we had several water issues, where the water would be out for a couple of days, and we compensated for that as well. Making sure that we always had jugs to flush toilets and wash up with. Now this week, we are having power outages in the daytime, off for an hour or two, back on for 10 minutes and off again for an hour or two. In the evenings it has also been going out for several hours, usually just after 18 hours here. Last night it didn’t come back on until sometime in the middle of the night.

When the power goes out the internet goes out as well. Besides those times, the internet comes and goes as it pleases. Being the winter season, there are days when it is very windy. On those days the internet is very sporadic.

It may also have to do with having been alone here alot lately. I really like some of my own alone time, always have and sure I always will. With the girls being gone last Saturday and Sunday night, I was really good with that. Then since Sophie was hospitalized on Wednesday, I’ve been alone. Which in itself does not create a problem? I am not at all afraid staying here we have a good guard every night. The part that gets to me is having no power for hours on end. I’ve read every book I brought, and what do you do in the dark for hours at a time by yourself?

When Mary came home yesterday, she left out a movie for me to watch. Out of Africa,  I was so looking forward to watching that last night. Then the power coming and going so much yesterday, my computer battery didn’t have a chance to be fully charged. So when the power went out, I thought I’d have at least 1 ½ hours of battery, so I put the movie in and watched the first 20 minutes, and it was gone, dead battery That was it, it is 6:30 and it is totally dark, I have nothing to read, no one to talk to. Just sit in the dark and feel sorry for myself. And let me assure you, I did!

At 8:00 I headed to bed, why not? What else am I to do? During the night I woke up and saw that the power was back!

After I let the guard out at 6, I tried the internet; this is my time to Skype Bob. Nothing! Plugged and unplugged, booted and rebooted, nothing! Grrrr! I had my breakfast, tried the internet, nothing! I took my bath (hoping that the water and power stay on tonight, because I don’t have a blow dryer to dry my hair if I wash in the mornings.) Tried the internet again, nothing! Grrrr! I picked up my Bible and My Utmost for His Highest; put a chair just inside the gate to the veranda, out of the wind. The sun was not quite up to over the outside walls yet. I opened Oswald up to May 21. Having God’s “Unreasonable” Faith is the title. The scripture is from Matthew 6:33 Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Oswald writes – The great concern of our lives is not the kingdom of God but how we are going to take care of ourselves to live. Jesus reversed the order by telling us to get the right relationship with God first, maintaining it as the primary concern of our lives, and never to place our concern on taking care of the other things of life. OK, Lord can you get in more in my face than that?

I went to the scripture and read from Matthew 6. I read first the NIV and then the Message. The very last verse from the Message “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.” Matthew 6:34 OK, Lord thank you for reminding me that not having power, water or the internet isn’t the worst things I could be doing without.

I sat and began to pray, it was a little chilly, but it was OK. I asked God’s forgiveness from my selfish, self-centered wants. As I was praying the sun broke over the wall that protects us from danger and theft. It began warming the top of my head. It felt so good, just like God’s love warming my mind, with thoughts of Him and His love for me. As I continued in prayer the sun went higher and started warming my mid section with its rays. It gave me a renewed peace, of God’s “Sonshine” warming my heart. The sun’s rays continued on warming my hands. Oh how I praise and thank you Lord for this sensation of how you fill me with your "Sonshine" every day of my life. May my hands be used today, to be your hands, filled with your love. Finally, I felt the warmth all the way down to my feet. Guide my feet today Lord, lead me and let me follow obediently after you where ever I am go.

I was in awe of how good God was to fill me with the “Sonshine” of His love, and to let me so feel His presence in my life.

What does it matter if I have power, water or internet? Life goes on without those earthly things, but I have the power of God’s Love, the water of His baptism and the internet to His heart, every day of my life as long as I seek first the kingdom of God! Halleluiah! Amen!

PS....when I finished and went back to my computer the internet was on!  What an amazing good God, who even cares about if I get to Skype Bob at home!  Thank you, Jesus!  May your "Sonshine" fill the lives of all your children today!